Are you taking life as celebration or as competition?

Imagine the world we used to live in when we were a child. During my childhood, there were no personal computers, no internet, no cable TV and also no telephones (they came later). Life was simple, sweet, less complex, more fulfilling and extremely satisfying. We had less money, some of us lived in rented houses and if we had a house - often it was just one house. We were less stressed, not over occupied, not in a rush and more healthy. We also had time to spend with family, time to spend in nature and time to do things we liked the most - reading, writing, playing, whiling away time or whatever.

Does this mean I am proposing we go back to those days ? Of course not. I am a technology enthusiast and believe in positive changes that technological advancements has brought. I am taking you back in time so that we bring back some of the characteristics of that time to live more fulfilling, more satisfying and more healthy life. 

One of the impacts of technological and societal advancements has been how we are leading our life. We have become slaves to our wants and needs which are never ending. We have more access to info, to somebody's life or to the world and with this our needs and wants have grown tremendously. With the advent of social media , we are more connected to each other's life. We know how is somebody dressing, where n all they are traveling, how they are spending time on weekends, what food they are eating and where they are eating, how many houses they have and in-fact there are websites which tell us how much somebody may be earning given their role and company.

If this was not enough, movies and TV serials take us on an imaginative drive - show us a lifestyle everyone wants to have - lavish, expensive, relaxing and queen/king size like. Thanks to movies and serials, status has become a symbol and we all want to have high status in society.

We all are running a race which no one knows when it ends and where it takes you. No one also knows why the race was started at the first place. We just became part of the race as we are part of the society and may be we thought this is what is needed to live life. We want to earn more because our family members and friends are earning more. We want to buy a house immediately because they have bought it. And the list of comparisons never ends.

In-fact, now a days, I see a new trend among us. We want to buy as many houses as the number of kids we plan to have. Some even want to get these houses even before they marry. Some want to earn and save enough so that they can retire in Hawaii or Bahamas. New goal posts keep getting added in the race to get more and more because others have more and more.

Am I saying that having these ambitions is false? Am i saying that you should not plan for your kids? Am I saying don't save up enough for your retirement ? Am I saying that you should not aim for earning a higher salary and should not aim for more and more success ?

Absolutely not. I am trying to emphasize that you realize that we have become part of a never ending race and its hurting us - hurting our present, hurting our family's present , hurting our health and making us set unrealistic goals causing stress , anxiety and greed.

So what do we do ?

First thing you do is get out of the race. Why you want to become part of a race you don't know why it was started and where is it leading you ? Why be part of a race which is the cause of your worry, your stress and your bad health. In-fact it is this race which is ruining your present in hope of a better future which you don't even know you can see.

Once you are out of the race, set your own pace in life - decide what you like to do in life , see your own dreams and based on this set your goals. Goals can still be the same - buy house, retire in Bahamas but this time these are yours and you will have your own plan & pace to achieve them. Also , you will not ruin your present.

Don't they say a journey is often more cherishing than the destination. Same goes with your life dreams and goals. That's why its important you cherish each moment in life - good or bad and evolve as a better human being.

So am I out of this race? Oh yes, and thankfully very early in my life I quit this race. Since then I have been seeing own dreams, setting my own goals and living the present the best I could. Same is true with my wife.

We are not bothered by how much more or less we have in comparison to others. We are not bothered by somebody else's success. In-fact , hearing anyone's success makes us very cheerful and joyous and gives us confidence that we will also reach ours.

We don't lead our life based on other's life and that's why even in this world of information overload, we stand true to our pace in life, our dreams and our goals. Once thing that also helps us is that we are very clear on how we want to lead our life and three important components are - 1) Celebrate present , 2) build your own future and 3) Make your kids capable enough so that they can also build their own future.

We celebrate every moment we can. We take time off every birthday in our family, for the the first day we met , for our engagement anniversary, for our wedding anniversary and for every festival we celebrate. We also try to each day as the best we could. Of course its life , we will have good days and bad days. We try to remember the good days and forget the bad days. We also make a conscious effort to meet extended family by visiting then once every year - please note most of our families are in India and in all parts :)

We have envisioned a future for us and for our kids. We are working every day and at our pace to build that future brick by brick. We are not compromising our present in just building that future.  We do it in a way so that present is pleasant and we are not under stress and pressure. So don't we ever get stressed ? of course we do. I get stressed about finances all the time when I think about future , kids education and retirement but then I immediately remind myself to be thankful of what I have and to be cognizant of steps I am taking to build a better financial future. But I also tell myself that its okay to adjust my goals to not ruin the present and also of the fact that you don't always need more and more to live a life. If I have just one house, some source of income and capable kids - I can still lead a good life. Everything else I could do will be a bonus. Will I not want that bonus ? Of-course yes but not at the cost of living a peaceful, stress free and pleasant life.

So lets talk about the thirds component of how we are leading our life - Make your kids capable enough so that they can also build their own future. It is because it is so critical and its also is driving parents to go crazy in their race to achieve more. Parents want their kids to have a house, have enough money for education and in many cases have enough money in their bank before even they start earning. The intent is good to ensure kids don't go through the same trouble we went through but implementation is flawed.

If you give everything to your kids without they realizing the importance of it? will they value it ? More importantly, will they learn from lessons that life teaches ? How will they become resilient enough? Will they learn to see their own dreams and set their own goals ? Will they learn to be independent themselves ? That's give your kids education, give them the lessons you learnt from life, give them ability to dream, ability to set goals  and give them the opportunity to explore life in their own. This is more important than the houses you will build for them or the money you will keep for them.

So are you with me to quit the race and celebrate life - no matter how tough sometimes it may get ? if yes, you are up for a race of your own and where you know you will be the winner.